Top Secrets
by tripping over isolines.x
Summary: After Miranda finds a bottle of Felix Felicis that belongs to the Marauders, she'll do anything to keep it- even sneak the bottle to Gryffindor Tower in Lily's unmentionables in order to get past Marauders armed with Probity Probes.


"Top" Secrets

A humorous little one-shot I came up with while going bra shopping. XD

Summary:

After Miranda finds a bottle of Felix Felicis that belongs to the Marauders, she'll do anything to keep it- even sneak the bottle to Gryffindor Tower in Lily's unmentionables in order to get past Marauders armed with Probity Probes.

Disclaimer: Own the marauders? I _wish_.

--

Miranda held the gleaming bottle up, a look of triumph in her bright eyes.

"_I've finally got it!_" she hissed excitedly, the crystal vial shaking in her thin fingers.

"Got what?" I asked blankly, staring at her and her insignificant possession.

"Felix Felicis! And guess what, Lily? Guess what?" She was absolutely hyper.

"What, Miranda?" I replied exasperatedly, punctuating my impatient question with an over exaggerated sigh.

"Don't use that kind of tone with me, young lady," Miranda said mock-huffily. The grin soon reappeared on her pixie features, however. "It's a bottle of Felix Felicis that I found, not in the Potion room, nor in Professor Slughorn's private stores. It's a bottle of Felix Felicis I found in _the boys' dormitories._"

I couldn't think of anything to say except for, "What were you doing there?"

"A long, unnecessary story, my friend. Now, since we can't use this little bottle of luck quite yet, we're going to have to sneak it up to the girls' dorms," Miranda said, her voice taking on a new edge. I was familiar with this mood- she was up to something. _Planning_ something.

"Well, that shouldn't be too hard, seeing as we're both Gryffindor girls."

"But," Miranda said, pausing for dramatic effect, "_but_, the problem is, I found this near a Marauder's bed."

I gasped. "Miranda! You're insane! Why'd you pick it up, then? They're going to find out it's missing and block off the entire tower until they get it back!"

"Exactly. So, this is where you come in."

Miranda leered at me maliciously. I cowered.

"Can't we just brew up some of our own? We certainly have enough talent to do that," I suggested. No kidding, really. Miranda was average at potions, even though she excelled at all the other subjects, particularly ones involving wand work. However, I was the best potions pupil in the entire year...except, maybe, for Sev. 'Scuse me, I meant, _Sniv._

"No. Takes too long. And I'm an impatient person," Miranda said, passing off my suggestion as if it were the wind.

"That's very, very true."

"So you're agreeing to the plan?"

I sighed, accepted defeat, and asked, "Tell me what I'm supposed to do."

--

"Aww, c'mon, Miranda! Why do _I _have to do this?"

"Because no one will suspect you," Miranda said tartly. "I have a track record for kleptomania and other intolerable acts."

She handed me the crystal vial and I took it gingerly.

"Lily, please cooperate!" Miranda pleaded. "It's virtually liquid heaven in that bottle, and you're willing to throw that away just to keep up appearances? That's plain selfish."

Even though her speech wasn't so motivating, I began to believe her. Maybe it was to be blamed on the sad, wide-eyed, angelic look she gave me next. It was irresistible _not_ to feel bad by turning that expression down.

"Sometimes I don't know why I'm you're friend," I mumbled, and slowly, reluctantly, tucked it into the cup of my bra.

I shivered. "It's _cold_, Randy," I said in protest.

"Tolerate it. You're human, you've got body heat."

Miranda pushed me in the general direction of Gryffindor Tower; I walked off resolutely, feeling as if I was marching toward the gallows.

--

When I got to the tower, there was a line.

A god damn _line_.

So what else is a Head Girl on a mission to do? I abused my power, of course.

"Oi! Get out of the way! What's the hold-up?" I screeched over the chaos of the crowd. They immediately quieted and said, oddly in unison, "We're not allowed in."

"By who?" I inquired confusedly.

Once again in unison (wow, how did they _do_ that?) the whole crowd pointed toward the culprits, who were none other than the infamous Marauders.

Peter and Sirius were armed with the long, pointy Probity Probes that the guards to Gringotts would occasionally use.

"Are you _mental_?" I hissed at James and Remus, who were standing to the side of the crowd and inspecting the peoples' pockets.

"Not at all. If you were a bottle of Felix Felicis, Lily, where would you go?" James said absentmindedly, pulling me into a one-armed hug that I immediately squirmed out of.

"Check!" shouted Sirius, coming toward me with the Probity Probe held like a sword.

"No, Sirius- stop-"

Too late; he was fast approaching...

I did the last thing I could think of; catching James totally unawares, I spun around and jerked his tie down so his face was level with mine. Quickly, before any more time could be wasted, I kissed him full on the mouth.

That was sufficient enough to stop _everything_ in the entire corridor.

Without a word and a blush quickly spreading over my face, I ducked underneath James' arm and held him in front of me in order to shield myself from Sirius, who was frozen mid-step.

Time seemed to be halted, until James groped behind his back in order to reach for me. I dodged his hands, but soon they circled around my waist and brought me in front of him. With everybody still standing in shock, he leant down and pressed his lips to mine again.

It's unnecessary to say that we got a little caught up in each other.

Until, that is...

"Lily? How come you have our bottle of Felix Felicis in your-"

I smothered his mouth with my hand and the muffled "bra" came out a little like "fwah".

"Don't say a word, James, and I'll do anything for you," I hissed in his ear, the blood pumping through my veins. I could make out Miranda, who was grinning evilly, among the crowd.

"I'll take you up on that offer," James said quietly, and slowly led me toward the common room, past the still frozen residents of Gryffindor tower and our gaping friends.

--

"It's ours. Give it here."

Sirius was standing triumphantly in front of Miranda and I, palm out and waiting.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Miranda said airily, and attempted to walk off, but Sirius' arm hooked around her waist and brought her back to the present situation.

"You know what I'm talking about, Goshawk. The bottle. _Felix Felicis_. Do you have any idea how long it took us to brew that potion?"

"The textbook says about 6-7 months, but I wouldn't know," I volunteered.

Sirius just growled.

"Give it over, already," Sirius said.

"What did you need it for, anyway?" Miranda asked. "Not that we have it, or anything, just wondering, for the sake of Merlin."

"Who doesn't need a little luck?" Peter piped up from behind Sirius.

"I certainly don't," James said, sighing as he played with a strand of my hair.

The marauders and I had taken up seemingly permanent residence around the fire. The embers were slowly dying and we had been arguing over the bottle of liquid luck for over two hours. I rested my head against James shoulder and curled up in his lap, sighing contentedly.

At this action, all eyes turned toward us, the "cozy couple".

"They certainly _don't _need luck," Remus muttered quietly under his breath. "Just take a look and see- they're already in heaven."

And I was; and obviously, so was James. I guess, among bra-sneaking and little vials of golden lucky liquid, romance was commonly found.

--

In Conclusion:

It's a really funny story about what eventually happened to the Felix Felicis; Sirius won it in the end, but after a trip and a fall down the stairs, the vial soared through the air and into Miranda's hands. Before the unlucky klutz could do anything about it, Miranda had tucked the vial into her bra, like I had previously hours before.

It was humorous to see how far Sirius would go to get back that bottle of Felix.

So, in conclusion, there were soon _two_ happy couples lazing around the fire, and the bottle eventually went to Remus and Peter.

It's been five years, and though I seem them nearly everyday, I've never asked them about whether or not they've used the bottle.

I have a feeling it'll do something good for Remus. But we'll wait and see.

--

The ending sort of felt dead to me, but overall, the story's nice. Got a good plotline.

Thanks for reading! Now, take a few seconds of your life to review- it'll brighten my day immensely.

-.x.


End file.
